How do you keep a nigger out of your front yard?
Move the garbage can to the back.

Why do niggers carry shit in their wallets?
For identity.

How do you save a nigger from drowning?
You dont.

What do niggers and apples have in common?
Both look dammed good hanging from trees!

What's the difference between dog shit and niggers?
When dog shit gets old it turns White and quits stinking.

What do you call a nigger in a tree with a briefcase?
Branch manager. How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
Take your foot off the back of his head.

What do you get when you cross a retard with a gang banger?
Someone who spray paints on a chain link fence.

Why do niggers stink?
So blind people can hate them too.

What do you get when you cross a nigger and a spic?
Someone too lazy to steal.

Why don't niggers take aspirin?
They refuse to pick the cotton out.

What do nigger kids get for Christmas?
Your bike.

Why don't nigger kids play in the sandbox?
Cats keep covering them up.

What do you call an apartment full of niggers?
A COON-dominium.

Why do niggers keep chickens in their back yards?
To teach their kids how to walk.

How do you know Adam and Eve were not black?
You ever try to take a rib from a nigger?

What is a nigger?
Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.

What do you call an Ethiopian with a pickle on his head?
A quarter-pounder.

What do you get when you cross a nigger and a chink?
A ape that eats a hell of a lot of rice.

How do you get 20 niggers into the backseat of a Yugo?
Toss in a welfare check!

What is always the best way to look at a gangster nigger?
Through a rifle scope!



What was missing from the million man march?
30 miles of chain and an auctioneer.  

How do u save a drowning nigger? 
You don't. 

What do u throw a drowning nigger? 
Wife and kids.

 How do u drown a nigger?
Pop his lip. 

Why do niggers have upturned pig noses?
That's where God held them when he painted them.

Why are their no niggers in the cartoon the Flintstones?
Because they were still monkeys at that time.

What do you get when you cross a nigger and a wetback?
A monkey that speaks spanish.

Why did the nigger cross the road?
To sell crack to the children at the other school.

What did the 13 yr. old nigger whore say while screwing?
Get off me daddy your crushing my cigarettes!

Why do gangbangers call European-Americans whitey?
Because that's the last sound they hear as whitey runs them over!

What do you get when you cross a nigger and a jew?
A mulatto conman.

Whats the difference between good niggers and bad niggers?
Good niggers are locked up in the medium security prison.

What's a real good way to kill a nigger?
Toss a bucket of chicken into the middle of the freeway!

Why did God give niggers big dicks?
His way to say "sorry" for putting pubes on their heads!

Why do niggers wear wide brimmed hats?
So birds won't shit on their lips!

What do you call a niggers car?
A 'blood vessel'.

What do you call 1,000 niggers going down a hill?
A mudslide!

What do Nikes and the KKK have in common?
They both make niggers run fast!

Why is there no black Miss America pageant?
Nobody want's to be Ms. Idaho!

What do you get when you cross a nigger and a gorilla?
A dumb gorilla!

What do you call a nigger having sex?
Rape!

How many polacks does it take to clean a bathroom?
None, it's a niggers job!

White folks aren't racist ... we've all got colored TV's!

Why do niggers hate aspirin?
Because it's white and it works!



A nigger walks into a bar and says, "Yo! Where do all the homies hang?". The bartender says, "out there", pointing to a tree in the back.

What do you call an Ethiopian on a hunger strike?
An Ethiopian!

How many niggers does it take a shingle a roof?
It depends how thin you slice them!

How do you get a nigger out of a tree?
Cut the rope!

Why don't nigger babies play in sandboxes?
Cats keep trying to bury them!

What do you call 60,000 niggers on a plane heading back to Africa?
A good start!

What do you call a nigger hiding in the woods?
A brown recluse!

What do you call a black bowling ball?
A nigger egg.

What did God say when he made the first nigger?
Oops! I put the pubes on his head!

What was missing from the Million Man March?
About a thousand miles of chain and an auctioneer!

What do Confederates do on the New Year?
Shoot niggers with roman candles and throw Confetti!

How do you get a nigger to wear a condom?
Put a Nike logo on it!

How do you keep a nigger bitch pleased?
Give her some fried chicken!

What happened when the Nigger looked up his family tree?
A gorilla shit on his face!

What do you call a busload of niggers going off a cliff
with one empty seat?
A crying shame!

What do you call 1,000 niggers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start!

What did God say when he made the first nigger?
Oops! Burnt another one!

Why haven't any niggers died from West Nile virus?
Mosquitos don't land on shit, only flies do!

How do you stop a nigger from going out?
Use more napalm!

What's the best way to keep gangbangers out of your backyard?
Hang one in the front yard!

What do you get when you cross a nigger and a faggot?
African shitdick.



What should you do if you accidentally run over a nigger?
Throw the truck into reverse!

 How many niggers does it take to roof a house?
8 if you cut the apes just right!

Why do whites shop at nigger yard sales?
To get back their possessions.

What is the safest place to be during a nigger-riot?
At work because Niggers are lazy!

What do you call 4 niggers at the bottom of the ocean?
Pollution!

What do you call 40,000 niggers at the bottom of the ocean?
solution!

How many Ethiopians can you fit in a phone booth?
All of them.

How do you start a foot race in Ethiopia?
Roll a doughnut down the street.

How many niggers does it take to pave a driveway?
One if you spread him real thin.

When does a Black man turn into a nigger?
As soon as he leaves the room.

What do you call a nigger with a Harvard education?
Nigger.

Why don't nigger women wear panties to picnics?
To keep the flies off the chicken.

Why does Alabama have niggers and California have earthquakes?
California got first pick.

Did you hear that the KKK bought the movie rights to Roots?
They're going to play it backwards so it has a happy ending.

What is the difference between a white owl and a black owl?
A white owl goes, "Who, who," a black owl goes, "Who dat? Who dat?"

Did you hear about the new Black Barbie?
It comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check.

What is black, white, and rolls off the end of the pier?
A nigger and a seagull fighting over a chicken wing.

Why do niggers walk the way they do?
Because they spent the first nine months of their lives
dodging a coat hanger.

Do you remember the nigger family on the Jetsons? No?
The future looks pretty good!

Did you hear about the nigger that thought he was bleeding to death?
Turns out he just had diarrhea.

What do you call two nigger cops on motorcycles?
Chocolate chips.

Why don't niggers celebrate Thanksgiving?
KFC isn't open on holidays.

Why do niggers like basket ball?
It involves running, shooting and stealing.

What has four legs and a black arm?
A happy pitbull.

How do you know if a nigger is well hung?
If you can't fit your finger between his neck and the noose.

How is a nigger like a broken gun?
It doesn't work and you can't fire it.

What do you call 5 niggers hanging from a tree?
A Mississippi wind chime.

Why did the nigger cross the road?
Who the fuck cares why is he out of the cotton field?

What do you call a white man surrounded by 100 niggers?
Warden.

Do you know why flies have wings?
So they can get away from the niggers.

How do you baby-sit a baby nigger?
Wet the animals lips and stick it to a window!

How many niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One to hold it in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around him.

What do you get when you cross a nigger and a indian?
An Alcoholic chimp.

What is tattooed inside every niggers lip?
inflate to 80 P.S.I.!

What is the difference between an old nigger bitch and a elephant?
About twenty pounds!

What do you call a nigger with a peg leg?
Shit on a stick!

Why do niggers always have sex on their minds?
Because they have pubes on their heads!

What does Pontiac stand for?
Pool Old Nigger Thinks It's A Cadillac!

Did you hear the one about the baby nigger who went to heaven and got his wings? He said, "God! Look! I'm an angel!", and God said, "No you stupid nigger! You're a bat, now eff off!"

I like black people I used to have some black friends 'till my dad sold them!

What does a nigress and an ice hockey player have in common?
They both change their pads after 3 periods!

Why do black people have white hands?
They were up against the wall when God spray painted them!

Why do black people have white hands?
It rubs off the cop cars!

Why do more niggers get hit by cars in the winter?
They're easier to spot!



What do you call two blacks on one bike?
Organized crime!

Why are niggers getting stronger?
T.V.s are getting bigger!

What happened to the nigger who had an abortion?
Crime Stoppers sent her a check for $500!

Why don't nigger bitchs wear panties to picnics?
To keep the flies off the chicken!

What's the difference between a truck full of baby niggers and a truck full of bowling balls? You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork!

What does FUBU stand for?
Farmers Used to Buy Us

Why don't sharks eat niggers?
They think its whale shit!

Why do niggers call white people "honkies"?
Thats the last sound they hear before they get ran over!

What do they do with dead niggers in California?
Gut them to make wetsuits!

What do you call a chinese nigger with AIDS?
Coon Die Soon

What does NAACP stand for?
Niggers Against All Caucasian People

What does NAACP stand for?
Now Apes Are Called People

Why do police dogs lick their asses so much?
To get the taste of nigger out of their mouths!

What do niggers say while having sex?
If you's scream white bitch I's kill ya!

What is the difference between a nigger and a snow tire?
Snow tires don't sing when you slap the chains on them.

What do you call a nigger with a I.Q. of 15?
Gifted.

A nigger with a I.Q. of 150?
Tribe.

What's the definition of the great American dream?
All the niggers go back to Africa with a mexican and a jew under each arm.

What do you call 100 parachuting niggers?
Skeet!



What's black, tan, brown and red?
My Doberman chewing up a gangbanger.

Why did all the niggers really die in Vietnam?
When the Sergeant said: "get down!" The niggers started to dance.

What's green, pink and purple and orange?
A nigger all dressed up for church!  

How do you tell that a nigger was shot in the head?
By the hole in his ghetto-blaster!

How many men does it take to carry a niggers coffin?
Eight, six to carry the coffin and two to carry the ghetto-blaster!

Why did the ape commit suicide?
He heard that he might have evolved from a nigger!

How do you get the nigger out of a tree?
cut the rope!

What do the skins and steroids have in common?
Both make niggers run real fast!

What do you say to a nigger in a three piece suit?
"Will the defendant please rise."

What is the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead gangbanger?
Skid marks in front of the dog; burn out patch in front of the gangbanger!

Why did Michael Jackson go to Kmart?
Because he heard that little boys pants were half off!

What do you call one white guy surrounded by three niggers?
Victim!

Why don't sharks attack niggers?
Sharks think that niggers are whale shit!

How was break dancing first invented?
Little gang-niggers trying to steal hubcaps off moving cars!

How many gang-bangers does it take to paint a wall?
One if you throw the monkey hard enough!

What's the best way to starve a nigger?
Hide the monkeys food stamps under his work boots!

What do you call a unborn baby nigger?
Janitor in a can!

Why did god give niggers rhythm?
Because he fucked up their hair, nose and lips.

Why are so many niggers moving to Detroit?
They heard there were no jobs there.

Why can't nigger women become nuns?
Because they can't get used to saying 'superior' after 'Mother'.



How do you fit 15 niggers in the back of a Cadillac?
Don't worry, they'll figure it out.

What's yellow and black and makes you laugh ?
A bus full of niggers going over a cliff.

Why are niggers always buried 12 feet deep?
Deep down they're good people.

What's the difference between a porch monkey and a yard ape?
The length of the chain.

What's black, orange, and very pretty?
A nigger on fire.

How does the navy use niggers?
They debone them and use them as wetsuits.

What does Pontiac stand for?
Poor Old Niggers Think Its A Cadillac.

What is the primary reason for the US prison system?
Nigger control!

What's black and red, wears high top Reeboks and cant go through a revolving door? A nigger with a spear through his head.

What qualifies as good behavior in a ghetto school?
Raising your hand before you pop a cap in the teacher.

What is a nigger's favorite anti-perspirant?
Unemployment.

Hear about the black version of "Shogun"?
It's called "Shonuff."

Did you hear about the nigger and the Mexican who opened a restaurant? It's called Nacho Mama.

What do you call a black-midget in Ireland?
A lepra-coon.

What's the first thing taught in a ghetto driving school?
How to unlock a car with a coat hanger.

Hear about the new perfume for nigger women?
It's called "Eau de doo dah day."

What is white and has a black asshole?
The Detroit Mi. Mayor's office.

Why were wheelbarrows invented?
To teach niggers to walk on their hind legs.

What do you call a nigger with a regular job, who sleeps in the same bed every night, doesn't collect welfare, and doesn't rape White women?
An inmate.

When is the only time you smile and wink at a nigger?
When you are looking through the scope on your rifle.

What do you call a nigger having sex?
Rape.

Why don't niggers use check books?
They find it too hard to sign their names in spray paint.

How can an Ethiopian woman tell when she's pregnant?
When she pulls out her tampon and it's half eaten.

How does a nigger pick his nose?
From a mail-order catalogue.

What is the title of the nigger's favorite how-to-book?
"How to Steal, Rape and Murder".

When a nigger throws a party, what do his guests drive?
Their homes - they live in their cars.



Why is Mr. Potato Head jealous of niggers?
Niggers have a bigger nose.

What time is bed time at the nigger's house?
When the cheap booze runs out.

What do niggers and a jockeys both ride?
Animals.

What is the worst stain on a nigger's underwear?
Watermelon.

Why does the nigger disappear for a couple hours after one of his friends leaves a party? He has to count his plastic silverware. What did the sunbather shout at the nigger?
Ain't you dark enough already?

What is a nigger's ideal of a perfect 10?
Any White woman he can get.

Why did the nigger want his own kid?
So he won't have to pick his own watermelons.

What repulsive thing can be found in a nigger's clothes?
The nigger.

What's black, stinky and ugly?
Any nigger you have the misfortune to stumble on.

Why did Coke fire the nigger?
He kept trying to SNIFF it instead of DRINK it.

Why are niggers' pants so big?
So they can conceal more weapons. What caused the nigger's problem?
Mother nature.

Why do niggers relate so well to monkeys?
Blood is thicker than water..

Where does Michael Jackson look for dates?
Dark alleys..

Why does that nigger have a tough guy reputation?
He's often confused for a gorilla.



What do you call a nigger in tree wearing a suit and holding a briefcase?
Branch manager!

What do you call a nigger with white hair?
A pint of Guiness

What's a nigger got in common with a bike?
Neither can work without chains

A man walks into a shoe store looking for a nice pair of shoes. An assistant asks if he can help, so the man tells the assistant he's looking for a really nice pair of shoes, a pair like nobody else would have. The assistant leads the man to the back room, opens a draw and pulls out a pair of shoes. He says, "These are the most unique shoes, made from human skin! They're $10,000". The man looks at them and says they're a bit pricey, so the assistant says, "We also have them in black for $2.99"

Why are niggers so good at football?
They grow up around hit and runs

Why do dogs lick their assholes?
To get the taste of nigger out of their mouths.

What do you call the black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow niggers!

What's 6 ft tall, black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron!

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead niggers?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!

What do you get when you cross a midget with a nigger?
A little shit!

When does a black man turn into a nigger?
As soon as he leaves the room!

Why does New York have niggers while California has earthquakes?
California got first pick!

Did you hear the KKK bought the rights to "ROOTS"?
They're going to play it backwards so it has a happy ending!

What's the difference between a White owl and a black owl?
The White owl says, "ho! Who!", while the black owl says, "Who dat! Who dat!"

Did you hear about the new black Barbie?
She comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check.

What does RAP stand for?
Retarded and poor, Rob and Plunder, Riot and Pound

What does NAACP stand for?
Niggers And Assholes Crashing Parties

Why do niggers drive nice cars, but live in crappy houses?
They haven't figured out how to steal a house yet!

What would you do if you had enough money to send half the niggers back to africa?
Send them all back half way

Why do people hit things when they don't work?
It worked with the slaves!

What's the difference between MLK day and St. Patrick's day?
Everyone wants to be Irish on St. Patrick's day!

What do you call two niggers in a red sleeping bag?
Kitkat

What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson with Arnold schwarzenegger?
Michael Wasanegger

What's more fun than swinging a baby nigger around on a string?
Stopping it with a shovel

A little nigger was helping it's grandma in the kitchen, spilling some flour on his face he looked up and said, "Look grandma! I'm a white boy now!" His grandma whooped his ass and told him to go tell his mom what he'd said. He goes into the living room and says, "Look momma! I'm a white boy now!" His mom whoops his ass and tells him to go tell his father what he'd told her. He walks outside and says, "Look pappy! I'm a white boy now!" His father whoops his ass and then asks him what he learned. He says, "I've only been white for five minutes and I already hate you fucking niggers!" -Kurious George Why do niggers smell?
So blind people can hate them too!

Why don't niggers like barn dances?
Everytime they hear there's a 'hoe down' they think their sister got shot!

What do you get when you breed a nigger with a jew?
A chain of empty retail stores.

Why are apes always so pissed?
They heard that in a million years they'll be niggers!

Why are people like jelly beans?
Nobody likes the black ones!

Why do niggers have low-riders?
So they can pick cotton at 50 miles an hour

What do you call a nigger with a wooden leg?
A waste of wood!

Did you know Oprah and Stevie Wonder both had the same nick name in school?
It was nigger!




Why'd the nigger have shit in his wallet?
For I.D.

A nigger and a spic fall from a tree, who hits the ground first?
The spic, the nigger never makes it because he's stopped by the rope.

There was a blackout in my neighborhood last night.
I had to shoot him before he stole everything.

What would Martin Luther King, Jr be if he was white?
Alive!

A Nigger runs into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, Doctor I can't stop running around!" The doctor says, "Okay, take this tablet." The Nigger slows down and stops. He said, "WOW! It really worked! I've tried everything! What was it?" The doctor says, "It's Persil - Stops colours running."

A man goes into a shop and sees 3 jars on a table. The first jar says "Caucasian Brains, $5.00 a pint". The second says "Asian Brains, $10.00 a pint", and the third says " Nigger Brains, $100.00 a pint."
"Hey, why are these nigger brains $100 bucks a pint?" asked the man.
The shop owner replied, "You know how many niggers you have to kill to get a whole pint of brains?" A young nigger walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, I'm tired of handouts, I want a job."
The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nympho daughter. You'll have to drive around in a big white Mercedes, but the suits, shirts, and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays. The salary package is $200,000 a year."The nigger said, "Ah c'mon, you're bullshitting me!"
The man behind the counter said, "Well, you started it!"

A midget walks in to a bar, takes a few shots of whiskey, jumps up on the bar stool and said, "Hey, any of you motherfuckers want to fight me?" A guy 6 feet two inches tall and weighing 253 lbs stood up and said, "I'll fight you!" That little midget jumped on him and beat the shit out of him. Next night the midget walked in and took a few shots, jumped on his bar stool and said, "Hey, any of you motherfuckers want to fight me?" This time an even bigger guy stood up. He was about 6 foot 5 inches and weighed 348 lbs. The midget jumped on him and beat the shit out of him, too. So the bar owner went out and bought a gorilla and locked it in the bathroom. Later that night the midget walked in, took a few shots of whiskey and jumped on the bar stool and asked if there were any sons of bitches that want to fight. This time no one stood up. The bar owner said, "There's a guy in the bathroom that wants to kick your fucking ass." Now the gorilla was in the bathroom for about 6 hours and was really pissed off. That midget walked into the bathroom and there was all kinds of noise for about 2 hours. Finally that midget walked out, sat down all out of breath, looked at the bar owner and said, "Tell that damn nigger his fur coat is in the toilet."

A spic walks into a bar and says, "Hey, nigger, give me a drink." The nigger bartender says, "I'll give you a drink, but I would appreciate it if you wouldn't refer to me as a "nigger." "Oh man!, I am sure sorry about that bro'. Won't happen again." A few minutes later the spic says, "Hey moon crickett, another round." The nigger says,"Hey, look, I really don't want you calling me "moon crickett" either." The spic says,"Sorry bootlips, I didn't mean anything by it." The bartender says, "OK that's it! How would you like it if you were the bartender and I came in here calling you names?" "I don't know, let's find out." So the spic puts on an apron and goes behind the bar and the nigger walks outside and comes back in and shouts, "Hey wetback! I want a fucking drink!" The "bartender" stops washing glasses and says, "Oh, I'm sorry, we don't serve niggers in here."

In a first grade class on the first day of school, the teacher wanted to get to know all the students, so she had them all stand up and say their names. A little niglet stood up and said that his name was "Mother Fucker." "Excuse me?" asked the incredulous teacher. "That's right ho, my name be Mother Fucker." "Well listen here," said the teacher, "this may be the first day of school, and you may think you can use foul language to get attention, but I can assure you that I won't tolerate it. Now, tell me your real name right now or I will send you straight to the principal's office." The black boy replied, "Look bitch, I said my name be Mother Fucker, and I mean ta tell ya, it be Mother Fucker!" "Well, that's it! Get out of my classroom right now!" The boy headed for the door and when he got there he turned to his twin brother who was also in the classroom and said, "Come on, Fuck Face, the bitch ain't gonna believe you either."

A nigger walks into a bar with a duck on his shoulder. Bartender says, "Hey, cool, where did you get that?" Duck says, "Africa, they are all over the fucking place."

Nigger walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doctuh, you gots ta hep me! I'm dyin' and it hurts!" "Well, where does it hurt, boy?" "Oh lawd, it hurts here," pointing to his leg, "And it hurts here," pointing to his arm, "And it's killin' me here," pointing to his stomach. After a full examination, the doctor says, "Get out of my office you asshole, all you have is a broken finger!"

The Pope, a boyscout, and the smartest nigger in the world are on an airplane. The engines fail, the plane starts going down, and there is only 2 parachutes. The smartest nigger in the world says, "Due to my extraordinarily high intelligence, I believe it is imperative that I survive and continue to show my people the path to greatness." He grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The Pope tells the boyscout, "I am an old man and I am ready to meet God, so you may use the remaining parachute, my son." The boyscout replies, "No, that's cool Pope, we both have parachutes because that nigger just jumped out of the plane with my backpack."

A priest and a rabbi show up at the Pearly Gates. Peter says, "Can I help you boys?" "Well, yeah, we just died and we would like to come in to Heaven." Peter looks at his clipboard and says, "I don't think so. You have been pretty bad on Earth and we don't let people like that in here. But I'll tell you what; go ahead and go to Hell, just for now. If Satan will let you come back, I will let you in." Peter sends them away laughing, because Satan never lets anyone go to Heaven. About 10 minutes later the preacher shows back up at the Pearly Gates. Peter says, "No shit! Satan let you come back?" "Yeah, he was in a good mood and said for $20 bucks each we could get out of Hell." "Well, where is that rabbi?" "I don't know, when I left he had Satan down to $19.95."

There is this rich Texas rancher who has a 100 meter long swimming pool with a shark in it. He has always said if anyone could swim from one end to the other without being eaten, he would give them either his daughter or his ranch. Well, his beautiful daughter had gone off to art school in New York and brought a nigger classmate home to one of her Dad's big barbeques. Of course, everyone is talking about how fucked up it is that the rancher's daughter brought a nigger there, when all of a sudden there was a huge splash. Everyone looked, and it was the nigger swimming his black ass off with the shark hot on his trail. At the other end of the pool the nigger threw himself out of the water and lay gasping and panting on the ground. The rancher came up and said, "Well, shit. I am a man of my word, so do you want my ranch or my daughter?" The nigger said, " Neither, I just want to know who pushed me into the pool."

It was the Summer of 1968 and a nigger showed up at the Pearly Gates. Peter comes out and says, "Uh, is there something I can do for you? I mean, we don't let niggers in here." "I know," said the nigger, "It's just that, I am from Alabama, and I grew up around White folks, and I like White folks, and I even married a White woman, so I thought maybe I could get in." Peter said, "Wait, you say you married a White woman in Alabama? When the hell was this?" The nigger looks at his watch and says, "Oh, about 10 minutes ago."

Two white convicts escape from their prison, only to find that a nigger has followed them out and is running along with them. The three of them see a few tree in the distance and they each climb up one to avoid the bloodhounds that are tracking them. When the police and dogs get to the first tree the dogs go crazy, barking and jumping. The White convict goes, "Meeeow," and the cops just think it is a cat stuck in a tree. So they go to the next tree where the other White convict says, "Hoo Hoo hoo Hoooo." The police figure it is just an owl in the tree. The nigger, hearing how the 2 White guys avoided capture, figures he will do the same, and when the dogs get to his tree, he lets out a lou, "Moooooooooo."So anyway, they all three get captured, and now they face the firing squad. The first White guy is standing there and as the warden says, "Ready.....Aim...." the prisoner points behind the cops and yells, "Tornado!" As the firing squad turns to look for the twister, the convict jumps over the wall and escapes. Now they have the second White convict standing there. "Ready.....Aim...." He points over their shoulders and yells, "Flash flood!", and escapes as they turn to look. Now the nigger has his turn. "Ready.Aim....." Just then the nigger jumps up and points and yells, "Fire!"

2 priests are arguing over whether God is black or White. Finally the one says he will just go ask God himself. When he comes back he says with a shrug, "I don't know, he just said 'I am what I am'" The other priest says, Well, that proves it! God is white!" "How can you be so sure?" "Well, because, if God was a nigger he would have said, "I is what I is."



Two big, fat, greasy nigger bitches are at the zoo. These are some big buffarilla type women. So they go to the monkey section where the sign says, "Don't feed the gorilla." But the one woman tries to feed the big silverback a bannana anyway. Well, the huge gorilla walks over, bends the bars apart, grabs the nigger woman inside the cage, and beats the shit out of her and commences to raping her in the ass. It takes the zoo keepers 20 minutes to make the gorilla let go of her. They were spraying it with a fire hose, hitting it with sticks, finally they shot it with about 5 tranquilizers. So the one nigger woman goes to visit her friend in the hospital, and she is fucked up. Swollen eyes, missing teeth, hair all torn out, and as soon as she sees her friend she breaks out crying and sobbing. "There, there honey," says her friend, comforting her and holding her, "We are gonna get you through this and you are gonna be jus' fine, honey." "I know, I know," says the first one, "But he don't call and he don't write and he don't come visit....."

A black nun and a White nun are walking through Central Park at night when 2 niggers jump out and start raping them. The white nun prayed out loud, "Oh, forgive them, Lord, for they know not what they do." The black nun exclaims, "Mine sure do!"

So a nigger gets a job digging telephone pole holes and at the end of the day the foreman comes by to see how many he had gotten done. "One, boss," he replied. "One! Hell everybody else can dig 15 holes a day!" "Yeah, sure, but they way they dig them, look how much of the telephone pole is still sticking out of the ground!"

A White man and a nigger are walking through the jungle when a lion jumps out to attack them. The White man throws a handful of sand in the lion's face and climbs up a tree real quick, and says to the nigger, who is still standing on the ground, "Hey, you better get your black ass up in this tree!" "Why?," said the spook, "I didn't throw sand in his face."

The F.B.I. sends an agent to South Africa to learn how the police there stop riots. The South African Police General takes him to a township disturbance where the police fire tear gas grenades at the niger mob. The mob runs away a few blocks, regroups, and comes rushing back at the police. Then the cops open up on them with powerful fire hoses, sending the rioters spinning down the street like soccer balls. They regroup and come charging back again, only to be met with squads of German Shepherd attack dogs. They bite those niggers so full of holes that they run like hell and don't come back. "Very impressive," says the F.B.I. agent, "But let me ask you; since the dogs were so effective, why not just use them first?" "Ah, you don't understand," said the Police general, "The niggers down here smell so bad, first we have to fumigate them and rinse them off before our dogs will touch them."

A guy walks into a bar and exclaims, "Goddamn, niggers are fucking assholes!" Someone at the end of the bar says, "Hey, I am offended by that!" "Why, you aren't a nigger." "I know, I'm a fucking asshole!"

A house at the end of the street in a small country town catches on fire. Soon it is fully engulfed in flames and it looks like there is no hope, when all of a sudden here comes a beat up old Chevy truck with a whole family of niggers crammed into it. Must have been 20 of them. Well, they come tearing through town, honking and waving and screaming for people to get out of the way, and they drive right straight into that burning house and stomp the whole damn fire out with their bare feet. The townspeople come crowding around them and congratulate them and thank them for saving the house, and as a token of their gratitude, they give the nigger family $100. "What are you going to do with the money?" they asked. "Well," says the father of the family, "First off we is gonna fix dem fuckin' brakes!"

A man is driving down the road and he sees a nigger family carrying furniture and dishes into an outhouse. He just shakes his head and keeps driving. The next day he sees them attaching a satellite dish to the roof of the outhouse. He just shakes his head and keeps driving. The next day he drives by and sees two satellite dishes on the roof, and he stops to see what the hell is going on. He says to the nigger, "OK, first I see you carrying furniture into the outhouse and I figure you were moving in. Then I see you putting a dish on the roof, and I figure if you are living in a shithouse you might as well watch T.V. But now I see two dishes on the roof. It is such a small outhouse, why do you need two satellite dishes?" The nigger replied, "Oh, we rented the basement out to Mexicans."

A hindu a jew and a nigger are all walking through the country and stop at a farmer's house to see if they could sleep there for the night. "Well," said the farmer, "All I got fer ya is the barn." The three travellers all agreed that the barn was fine, and the farmer showed them the way. A few minutes later there is a knock at the farmer's door. It was the hindu. He said, "I am very sorry, but there is a cow in the barn and it is strictly forbidden for me to sleep in the barn with a cow. Besides, it smells like shit out there." "Oh, fine, you can sleep in the damn house!" said the farmer. A few minutes later there is another knock at the door. This time it's the jew. He said, "Sir, I am jewish, and you expect me to sleep in the same barn as a pig? A dirty, disgusting, filthy swine? Besides, it smells like shit out there." "Fine, fine, you can sleep in the damn house, just stop bitching!" A few minutes later there is another knock at the door. "I swear to god if it's that damn nigger I am going to whip his ass, because I'll be damned if I let him sleep in my house!" The farmer opened the door and it was the pig and the cow.

A nigger finds a magic lamp and rubs it and when the genie pops out he told her he wanted to be "Tight, White, and outta sight!" So she turned him into a Tampon.

Two niggers walking down the street see a sign that says, "Turn White for $15." The two groids turn their pockets inside out only to discover that one has a 20 dollar bill and the other one has a 10 dollar bill. Since neither one of them has exactly $15, they can't figure out how they can both get turned White.....Finally one of them has a stroke of genius. "You take $20 and go in there and get turned White, then when you come out you can give me your $5 change and then I will have $15 and I can get turned white, too!" "Bet, dog," says the other bootlip, and he goes inside. 10 minutes later, you wouldn't believe it. That nigger was blond haired, blue eyed, and even had on a suit and a tie. The first nigger says, "Man, holy shit, I can't believe it, you are really White! Hurry up and give me that $5 so I can do it too!" "Fuck you, nigger, get a job!"

A first grade teacher wanted to help her students learn black history so one Thursday, she told them that she would read them some famous quotes and whoever could guess who said it could stay home from school the next day. The first one she read was, "By any means necessary." Hands shot up. "Yes, Leroy, can you tell me who said that?" "Malcom X." "That's right," said the teacher, "You may go home now, and you don't have to come to class tomorrow." The next one was, "I have a dream." Again, dozens of little black hands went up. "Yes, Shaquita, do you know who said that?" "Martin Luther King, Jr." "Why yes, that's right, you can go home early and skip school tomorrow also." From the back of the classroom came a disgusted voice, "You goddamn niggers make me fucking sick." The teacher ran to the back of the room and screamed, "Who said that!?" The little White boy jumped out of his chair and headed for the door, saying on his way out, "David Duke. See ya Monday, bitch!"

A nigger finds a lamp and when he rubs it a genie pops out and offers to grant him a wish. He told her he wanted to wake up every morning for the rest of his life with 3 women in bed with him. The next day he woke up in bed with Hillary Clinton, Lorena Bobbitt, and Tonya Harding. His dick was gone, his leg was broken, and he didn't have any health insurance.

An old jew bitch was walking her grandson down the beach when a huge wave came up and washed the little boy out to sea. The old woman shook her fist at the sky and cursed God for 20 minutes for taking her only grandson. Finally God couldn't stand the irritating bitch anymore and he sent another wave that set the boy, unharmed, gently back at her feet. After a quick search of the boy she shook her fist at the sky and shrieked, "He had 50 cents in his pocket when you took him!"

A nigger couple showed up at the Pearly Gates. Peter came out and said, "Yes?" "Uh, well sir, my wife and I just died in a car wreck, and we thought we could get into Heaven now." Peter looked at his clipboard and shook his head. "No, you two have been pretty scandalous, I don't think we can have you in here. Well....tell you what. I will bring you back to life and put you back on Earth for 30 days. If you can show some self control and abstain from having sex for the whole month, I will let you in." A month later the 2 showed back up at Heaven. "Well," said Peter, "how did you do?" The nigger replied, "Well, we did great for the first 28 days, but then my wife dropped a bag of potato chips on the floor, and when she bent down to pick them up I just lost it and did her right there on the floor." "That's too bad, because now you know I can't let you into Heaven," said Peter. "Oh, that's OK," said the nigger, "they won't let us back in the grocery store, either."



An Indian chief went to a whorehouse and said he wanted a woman. The madam asked him if he had ever been with a woman before, and he said no. She told him to go find a tree with a hole in it and practice on that for a while. He came back a week later and said he had practiced fucking a hole in a tree and now he wanted a woman. He went upsatairs with a whore, but about 30 seconds later she came running down the stairs yelling and screaming, bloody and bruised, with the injun running behind her swinging a large stick. The madam said, "What the hell are you doing to my whore?" The indian replied, "This time me check for bees first!"

A little niglet put some flour on his face and when his mother came home he said, "Look Momma, I is a White boy!" She slapped him and sent him to his room. When his father came home he came running out and said, "Look Daddy, I is a White boy!" His father slapped him and sent him to his room. Finally the boy's grandmother came home and the boy thought for sure that she wouldn't be so mean, so he ran out and said, "Hey, I is a White boy!" When his grandmother also slapped his face, the boy shouted, "I has only been White for 15 minutes and I already hate damn niggers!"

A nigger finds a magic lamp and when he rubs it a genie pops out. When he sees the nigger he says, "Oh, shit. What do you want?" The nigger says, "I want a bridge from America to Africa made out of pure gold." The genie says, "Are you fucking crazy? You know how much gold that would take? That is impossible. Pick something else." So the nigger says, "OK, I want all the little nigger children to be just as smart and good looking as the White children." The genie says, "OK, so that bridge, you want it to be 2 lanes or 4 lanes?"

A nigger boy comes home from his first grade class and said, "Momma, all the White kids made an A+ on the math test, but I failed. Why is that?" His mother said, "It's because you are black, my son." Then the boy said, "And all the White kids got an A+ on the spelling test, but I failed that too. How come?" "Because you are black, my son," said his mother. "But then when we took a shower after gym class, I noticed my dick was bigger than all the White boy's dicks. Why is that?" "Well son," she said, "that is because you are 15 years old." A trucker carrying a load of bowling balls picked up 2 nigger hitchikers who were pushing bikes with flat tires. He tells them they have to ride in back with the bowling balls, which is fine with them. A few miles down the road a cop pulls the truck over for speeding and he asks to look in the back of the truck. After a quick glance he shuts the door and tells the trucker to get the hell down the road as fast as he can. Then he gets on the police radio and tells his chief, "I got a truck headed your way, you escort him to the county line and get them to escort him right out of the state, quick!" "Why, what the hell is wrong?" asked the chief. "What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong....that truck is carrying a load of nigger eggs and 2 of them have already hatched and stole some bikes!"

A chinaman and a jew are drinking at a bar when the jew gets nasty. "You motherfuckers ought to be ashamed of yourselves for Pearl Harbor. Sneaky little shits, bombing all of those innocent sailors, fuck you." The chink replied, "Hey! Wait a minute, that wasn't us! I'm Chinese. Pearl Harbor was done by Japanese." The jew said, "Ahh, Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" So the chink says, "Well, what about your people? Sinking the Titanic and killing all those helpless women and children, I should fuck you up right here." The kike exclaimed, "What the hell are you yapping about? Jews didn't sink the Titanic, it hit an iceberg, you jackass!" The chink said, "Ahh, iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"